Thinking about prayer...

Hi empty space...
I have some time here while mom gets her hair done, so I thought I would write..

Last night my small group had a discussion on prayer. We watched Rob Bell's video Open. It was a good video on prayer.

Questions like : Why are we willing to talk to our friends in a honest way when we don't get "real" with God too often? If God is going to do what God is going to do, why pray?

There were other question too, but these were the ones that I really had to stop and think about. I know that God sometimes says no, or not now, to my prayers so questions about that were not real brain twisters for me...

But why do I have a hard time being totally "real" with God? This is one that I struggled with a long time. I am making good progress on this in recent weeks... like the last two. There are bits and pieces of my life that I have not been willing to be real with God about until now. I am giving up on that and being totally open with Him.... It is making a difference and feels very good.

If God knows all and is God why do I have to pray? I find it funny sometimes that I pray for people, and call God's attention to stuff, that I act like he knows nothing about.... Then when I stop and try to pray that about me, I start to think, God knows this already... In the discussion on the previous topic, someone made a good observation. That talking open and honestly with God is a way of working through things like talking to a counselor. And I observed the times in the Exodus that Moses talked to God about doing something or another, and at one point talked God out of destroying the nation. Today while I was driving around this thing came to mind again, and I wondered if maybe God said the things He said to get Moses to say the things and take ownership like he did... hmmm.... I need to go read all that again and think more about it... But the point is that talking to God about things is a way of gaining an understanding of those things for me, as well as seeking God's assistance in those situations.

I'm feeling pretty good with my life these days... not that things have improved much, but last week when I came to the acceptance that this is where I am to be, and what I'm to be doing at this time, it helped A LOT... It was amazing that as I got to that point, relief started to appear. My sister is going to move here for an unspecified amount of time to help me with caring for mom. And in the other major matter of my life, things also have not changed but I do know that I will be ok with God, even if I am struggling with, and in, the situation...

long pause goes here... mom's hair was done and I didn't get back to this until the next morning...

Last night I started to wonder about something else related to prayer... something I see in the Exodus as well... If I am feeling distressed it is so easy to talk to God about it, even in the times that I am not honest about what is going on, its easy to complain to Him... But when I am feeling ok, will it be as easy to be focused on God, and be looking for reminders of Him, keep seeking Him?!?!? I hope to learn from Israel on this one. It's just as important to stay connected to God in the good times, though much easier to be distracted. But the bible is loaded with examples of failure being brought on, by getting too comfortable in the good times, getting lazy about time with God, feeling like I can handle things now... David, Solomon, Uzziah (sp?), the nation of Israel... This is something I'm going to be talking to God about starting now, I want my life to be His in both times that are good as well as the times that are hard.

Ok... I want to close this for now, and go do my time with God...

Be well empty space...
--me