train wrecks...

Hi empty space...
Today I witnessed what seemed like a train wreck... I had hoped my mom's condition would get diagnosed... but that didn't happen as I expected, and more than that she ended up hurt and very angry at me, crying and wishing my dad was still alive... I thought all the way home how I know that God is involved in things that happen, and how so often what we see as a train wreck is actually God making some needed changes in our lives...

I have been involved in several MAJOR train wrecks in recent years... I won't even list them all... but I know that God has been making changes in me... needed changes... and that at sometime, I will begin to understand the reasons for all the seemingly mean wrecks, and I will be living a life that is filled with good feelings and good things... Right now though some of the collateral damage of the train wrecks hurts.

The good thing from today's wreck is that I have made connections to begin to truly help my mom and my family cope with what is going on. It may turn out that she can be easily helped, though not likely. In any case I will be able to get the support I need to get through the times ahead, and she will get high quality care (if I have anything to say about it all...)

There are days that I am truly not happy with the situations of my life, but I know that all of this is helping me turn to God in deeper and deeper ways, and that I am happy about. I hope that there is a time in the future where God will use me to help others, and everything I have been through will help me in that time.

--me