Peaceful house... for the moment...

Hi Empty Space...
Today has been quite a day... It started with me forcing Rico to go walking with me.. his fear seems to be irrational even to him... so it has helped some. He is getting better about letting me walk with him, now that he has a harness that he cannot back out of... and I have been able to get close to him, though right now it involves cornering him... so tonight after a bit of a tussle I put him in the cage I have for him (it's big and he has room to move and lay comfortably) and have been able to get the leash on him on my own... a first since he got here, and I took him for two nice walks today... I'm hoping a few more days and we'll be friends... I had to step up my dominance because he got out and ran off yesterday.. Fortunately I was able to call someone that he trusts to come get him back, and he was found in about 30min. But if we can't get to a point where he is comfortable around me, this is going to be a long year for both of us... I'll keep working...

Then there's mom... Today was one of my 2 days per week to spend 4hrs in the office, so mom was home alone... When I got back, I found she went into my library and ate an entire bag of dove chocolates (minus the 6 or so that I had already eaten)... So she was WIRED... I just got her to go lay in bed... It will be interesting to see what her sugar reading is tomorrow... But for me, more than anything, this was a wake up call... I am going to need someone to spend time with her while I work... but... there is a problem... I am having issues with the case against me that make it difficult for me to hire someone to help her... ugh...

But for this moment, Mom is in bed and Rico is resting in his cage... so the house is peaceful... for now...

I am feeling overwhelmed with all of this. I don't know what the next step is... but one foot before the other I will step on... I have not been able to pray much, and that bothers me, it's not that I don't want to talk to God, I just don't know what to say anymore... every time I open my mouth, my life seems to get a little more complicated... and I feel a little more alone... the courts don't care, the lawyers don't care, my ex doesn't care, friends care (but can only do so much), God must care (but I'm struggling with how...) I am confused, and scared, and as I sit here on the couch in a house with a dog that does not like me and a mom that barely knows me, I feel alone... I know that I am where God wants me to be, and that I will get through this...somehow. Someone said to me today, that I am going to come out of this with a wisdom that will help others. That may be true. I don't know. But if it is then maybe all this will be of value to others in the coming years.

Funny... as the baby boomer's age, I don't think that there has been enough thought given to what will happen to those who must care for their parents...

ok... I'm going to go walk Rico again. On our evening walk tonight, he did not (ummm) use the facilities...

-me