What changed.. me or them...

Hi empty space..
I have been feeling very alone and isolated lately. When I first entered this part of my life I was pretty well surrounded by friends, but lately they have mostly moved on... Mostly they have become busy with the things that are important to them. And I'm just not a life of the party type, so I am not in the circle they run in. When I have reached out to some of them, I have found them with no margin left to spend time with me. Then with the house I have no funds to go out, and this place does not look together enough to really be entertaining.

Or is the cause of my being alone that I am not trying, or willing, to seek out people to be with.

After the last two days of interaction with the lawyer about the case that has been going now for 35 months... I am having a very hard time with forgiveness today. It's not that I don't want to, I am just very bruised right now.

I know I make mistakes all the time, and it's one of the reasons that I am alone now. I know I do things that are not what God wants of me, and I think this leads to be having to be alone more.

I'm tired... I think I am going to try sleeping down here tonight, that airmattress is very old already...

-me