It seems to be falling all apart...

I am struggling these days. I try to do what it right, what is best, what is helpful, what is caring. But I don't understand. I ask for guidance and I pray. But I don't seem to be able to hear, or understand what I am supposed to be doing, and things just feel worse and worse. I am close to quitting, and I shut down a little more each day.

I have a friend that I am sure will ask:"Where's God in all of this?" because it would seem that I am taking things into my own hands once again. And I just don't know. The divorce related court trials rage on. Last week my son was dragged into the middle of it. The judge called it a tragedy for him. To me it was just awful. My mother's condition got an initial diagnosis last week, and the prognosis is uncertain at this time. But it's not good. My brother has decided that he and his wife cannot help. This is making my sister, who gave up all to be here to help, angry. This is impacting me and upsetting me on a number of levels. I want to do what's best for everyone, I agree that my older brother should be doing more, but I don't know how to communicate that effectively... he hung up on me yesterday...

my prayer life is a shambles, I don't know what to say anymore. I don't get an effective quiet time anymore because mom is up and out before I can even get the day to start. Work is not going so hot because my concentration stinks...

The only place I seem to be able to whine anymore is here... and I can't even communicate my thoughts clearly here right now... I think I need to do something different...

--- bye empty space...