I was listening to some Chris Rice today, and I was struck by the realization that I have been "living for the day when.." I have not been looking at this day as the gift that it is. I have been looking to the day when the things with court are all settled... I kept thinking I was almost there, then it moved... Even last summer I thought it was close to the end, then it moved again. I had been looking for that until the day that dad died... Then a whole new set of "living for the day when..." started.
I have to stop living for a day in the future. I have to talk to God about living the way that He wants me to live in this day, right here, right now...
This is going to take some work. I have been living for the day when longer than I can remember. It is really the only way I know how to live...
Good night empty space...
--me
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