I had a David moment yesterday. King David that is... Yesterday I could not have put it into this perspective, but this morning I realized that I'm not the first to sit and wonder why. Not the first to feel abandoned by God. Not the first to feel that God has walked away and left me standing in a place that makes me rather I was dead than alive. Not the first to question if I will ever trust people again, because it feels like they are out for themselves at my expense. I am grateful this morning that God had things timed that I would have read a bunch of David's Psalms yesterday morning. This morning I remembered all this. David was someone God called His friend, yet he felt all these things too. I don't think I'm in the same league with David or that God considers me that close to Him, but at least I know that He does care enough about what I am going through to have given me the preparation and teaching that He gave me yesterday.
Now I have to go ask forgiveness from God for my reaction to yesterday, pick up the burden I'm to carry, and move on to the next steps. I won't say I'm totally over what I was feeling yesterday, because I'm not, and if this were the last breath I took I would not be disappointed, but I feel that there is more to come that some day I will get past this, and I hope that some day is filled with joy rather than longing for the last breath... At very least I have work that I have to be doing to care for others.
ok, busy day ahead today... best get at it...
bye empty space.
-me
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